Arkansas come to Houston

Where did we leave off?  Oh I got bored.  Yes, I have no idea how those people on Catfish do it.  Going on for years and years without laying eyes on their love interest.  I am not sure when exactly I got bored or what caused it.  It might have been when I discovered there were other LOCAL suitors or maybe when I began to discover his lack of general intelligence and stability. (You see when I first began chatting with him he was a roofing contractor, by the time he was coming to visit he was a furniture salesman, that lasted three weeks, he now sells cars.)  Either way, he kept insisting he was going to come visit, after about a month of that, I got bored.  And by the time he came to visit, another month later, I was down right annoyed.  Every time he texts "Good morning beautiful." I throw up in my mouth a little bit.  
He arrives and it feels like an extended first date.  We go to the zoo, then for drinks.  We go to dinner and he is just staring into my eyes.  I am so uncomfortable that I ask him to please stop.  He said "I think eye contact is important.  In relationships, in professional life, in everything."  While I do agree with him eye contact is important, staring is not socially acceptable.  He is way into sales and it seems someone once told him that eye contact was important in making a human connection so he just started staring.  
Side note: I want to let you know that I am paying for a significant amount more on this visit than I would on any other date because he honestly can't afford it.  Being a sugar mamma does not get my loins burning.  
At one point I ask him if he would like to go see a movie, his response, "That will be nice.  I want to make sure you know that, I didn't come to Houston to see a movie.  I come to Houston to see you."  If you noticed the grammatically incorrectness of this statement, it is not a typo.  He did not use the word CAME, in any context.  For example he would be telling a story and say "It come time..."  Towards the end of our time together I almost shouted "YOU MEAN CAME!" in one of these instances.  But luckily I was able to restrain myself.  
At the end of our visit he said "You know I like you a lot."  I said, "I can tell."  And sent him back to Hope, AK, home of Bill Clinton, Mike Huckabee, and this smitten man, who would be my perfect match if I wanted to be worshiped.  

Arkansas

Preface: I have been putting this blog off for a long time.  Just because it is a bit of a long story.  I will try to make it as brief as possible, but know this is in the past.  It is just too good of a dating story not to share.  In fact, I think it's going to be two parts.  Here we go!

About two years ago I went to the Sugar Bowl with Mr. Ex (Mr. Boyfriend at the time).  In that game Ohio State was playing Arkansas.  In the words of my brother, "If there ever was a time when it was better to be an Ohio State fan, this was it."  He and I made friends with two gentlemen from Arkansas our first night there.  Mr Ex suggested I get one of their numbers so that we could hang with them again the next day.  We never met up with them again, but he added me as a friend on Facebook.  Over the next two years we kept in touch over college football here and there.  

About two weeks after I return to Facebook as a single woman I receive a text from Arkansas (who I would not know if we passed each other on the street), but I remember him being nice enough.  We continue to text.  The texts become daily and I am enjoying our conversations  It becomes more and more romantic and more and more frequent.  He tells me all of these nice things "You're so pretty."  We talk about our previous relationships and how much we both don't like being alone etc.  It is very nice and makes my days better.  We even have a few Skype dates because "He is not trying to get 'catfished'."    

A certain ginger friend of mine told me it sounded like it was exactly what I needed at the time.  And I agreed.  A very good self esteem boost.  This went on for a solid five months.  And it was all well and nice until I got BORED...  

Do not call.

Recently, my ex boyfriend has decided to text me late at night when he is drinking.  He has always done this, but it has recently grown more and more intense.  I don't know why.  Actually, I do know why, it is because he knows I am seeing other people and is trying to manipulate me.  He does not like that he is no longer the center of my universe.   I want to be clear and let you all know that I do not respond to these late night texts.  THIS GIRL is worth way more than a late night booty call!  I do not understand why he continues this behavior.  The definition of insanity...and all that.
On Saturday night a suitor of mine returned home from a week long work trip.  I was very excited for his return and eager to greet him with my full attention!  To my dismay my ex begins texting me at 10pm and continues.  I proceed to ignore these texts, but find that they still affect me and my ability to focus on my time with said suitor.  I did not like that one little bit.  
So Monday morning rolls around.  I find that I am angry with my ex for attempting to ruin this weekend for myself and my suitor.  All I really want is to move my life forward and he is preventing that as much as I try to say he isn't, it's tough.  I decide to make a phone call.  After work, I give him a little ring, for a grown up conversation.  I explain to Mr Ex that his texts are affecting me and that I know he is not doing it to hurt me, but it is hurting me and my time with Mr Suitor (certain to mention Mr Suitor of course).  He responds with his usual "I don't know," when asked why he does it and he tells me that he never looked at it that way and certainly doesn't want to hurt me or prevent me from living my life.  We catch up on our lives briefly.  He then agrees to change my number to "do not call," in his phone.  I say "Thank you!  I really appreciate you doing that!"  Likely the first and last time I will ever respond to those words with such enthusiasm.