One year later, what I've learned.

I am the most single I have been in almost five years.  It feels pretty good to do things on my own and I have grown to enjoy a lot of the time I spend with me.  In my relationship I was constantly wondering what my boyfriend was doing, I had many a sleepless night because he would disappear, often lying about his whereabouts the next day.  I find that I sleep better now that these things are no longer my problem.  
So when almost three years to the day of meeting my ex and one year to the day of us breaking up one can imagine my shock in finding out he was engaged to the woman he cheated on me with.  The woman he swore he broke off contact with, the woman he swore he had not reached out to after us breaking up, the woman he swore he hadn't been physical.  I remember many an argument and how he would say he didn't understand why I didn't/couldn't trust him.  He suggested I get into therapy that my trust issue was a problem I needed to work on.  
He was right, I did have a trust issue.  I didn't trust myself.  The person I know better than anyone.  The person that will always be there for me.  I knew he was lying to me and I convinced myself otherwise because I didn't love or trust myself enough to listen to what was right for me.  
So after hearing the news of my exes engagement, I had one more sleepless night, one last time for Chris to cause me to lose sleep.  The next day, thanks to the help of one or a few amazing friends, I was able to realize what I have learned one year later.  It's time for trust and love, not necessarily for others, but for myself.  I am the one who knows what is right and wrong for me, I am an excellent judge of character, and I am worthy of that trust and love.